Cussin At Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Therefore, New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1

INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training..

Number 2

INSTEAD OF: She’s a f___ing bit__.

TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.

Number 3

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

Number 4

INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.

Number 5

INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh___ing me!

TRY SAYING: Really?

Number 6

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…

Number 7

INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f___ing problem.

TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.

Number 8

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.

Number 9

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.

Number 10

INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn’t you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.

Number 11
…
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues

Number 12

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

Number 13

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?

Number 14

INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I’m on salary.

TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.

Number 15

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.

Number 16

INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

Number 17

INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

Number 18

INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.
TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.

Thank You,
Human Resources

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